Grief is often framed as a temporary process, something we are expected to move through, and eventually leave behind. However, for many, grief is not a finite experience but a perennial presence—an ongoing relationship with loss that continues to evolve over time. From the perspective of depth psychotherapy, grief is not a pathology to be cured, but a profound engagement with the unconscious, the soul, and the archetypal dimensions of being human.

The Depth Psychotherapeutic Approach to Grief

Depth psychology, rooted in the work of Carl Jung and other psychoanalytic thinkers, explores the unconscious aspects of the psyche, and recognizes that grief is more than just an emotional response—it is a portal to deeper self-understanding. Unlike cognitive-behavioral approaches that aim to help individuals “move on,” depth psychology invites us to listen to grief as a voice of the soul, an initiatory experience that reshapes our inner world.

The Unconscious and the Ongoing Presence of Loss

Most grief, being perennial, is often connected to the unconscious, where loss does not simply disappear with time; but continues to shape our dreams, emotions, and symbolic life. The psyche does not operate on a linear timeline; instead, it moves in spirals, revisiting grief when necessary for integration and transformation. This is why certain anniversaries, encounters, or life transitions can suddenly reawaken dormant sorrow.

Jungian analyst James Hollis speaks of grief as an experience that deepens our connection to the Self, the larger totality of who we are. The lost loved one or experience remains an active presence in our psyche—not as a wound to be healed, but as a living symbol that continues to influence our journey.

Archetypal Dimensions of Grief

From a depth perspective, grief is not just personal, but also archetypal. Myths and religious traditions across cultures tell of journeys into the underworld, where the hero/heroine must confront loss, suffering, and transformation. The myth of Persephone, abducted by Hades into the underworld, mirrors the descent we experience when grief enters our lives. Her mother, Demeter, wanders in mourning, refusing to let the world flourish until she is reunited with her daughter. This cyclical descent and return reflect the perennial nature of grief—some part of us is always searching, longing, and adjusting to absence.

Similarly, the archetype of the Wounded Healer, embodied by Chiron in Greek mythology, suggests that our deepest wounds can become sources of wisdom and meaning. Grief does not mean we are broken; rather, it means we are engaged in a lifelong process of transformation.

Befriending Perennial Grief

If grief is perennial, how do we live with it? Depth psychology encourages an attitude of engagement rather than avoidance. Some ways to be in relationship with grief include:

• Active Imagination: Jung’s technique of conversing with inner figures can help us maintain a symbolic relationship with what has been lost. Dreams, synchronicities, and inner dialogues may reveal new dimensions of our grief.

• Ritual and Symbolism: Creating personal rituals—lighting a candle, writing letters to the deceased, or engaging in art—allows us to honor grief as a sacred presence rather than an unwelcome intruder.

• Recognizing the Soul’s Longing: Perennial grief often signals a deeper longing for meaning, connection, and integration. Rather than suppressing these longings, we can explore them as guides on our individuation journey.

Conclusion

Grief is not something to be “fixed,” but something to be honored as a sacred part of being human. It is a continual dialogue between the conscious and unconscious, the past and present, the visible and the unseen. By embracing grief as an ongoing process, we open ourselves to its transformative potential, allowing it to deepen our relationship with ourselves, others, and the mysteries of life. In this way, grief becomes not just an experience of loss, but a passage into greater wholeness.

If you live in California, and you would like to explore grief counseling with me, please contact me.