Depth Psychotherapy for Grief
Honoring Loss as a Sacred Process
Grief isn’t something we “get over.” It’s not a box to check off or a timeline to follow. And yet, so many of us are quietly wondering if we’re grieving wrong because we’re still carrying sorrow months—or even years—after a loss.
In my experience, grief doesn’t go away. It changes shape. It softens and sharpens. It hides and reappears. It asks to be tended, not fixed.
From a depth psychotherapy perspective, grief isn’t a problem to solve—it’s a meaningful, often spiritual process that reshapes who we are.
Grief Is a Relationship, Not a Task
There’s a common cultural story that grief is a phase, something linear we should move through and leave behind. But many people find that grief becomes a kind of companion—sometimes quiet, sometimes fierce—one that stays with them in different forms over time.
Depth psychotherapy sees grief as a living experience, not just an emotional state. Loss has a way of working its way into the psyche—into our dreams, our memories, our bodies. We don’t just “get over” someone we love, or a version of ourselves we’ve lost. We learn how to live with that absence. We carry it with us. And in doing so, something inside us slowly changes.
The Psyche Doesn’t Move in Straight Lines
In therapy, clients often ask, “Why is this coming up now?” An anniversary. A song. A scent. A big life transition. The psyche doesn’t follow a calendar—it follows meaning. And grief has its own rhythm. It spirals. It revisits. It returns when we’re ready to understand it in a new way.
Sometimes grief shows up years after the loss, or it returns in a dream we can’t quite explain. It may speak to something deeper—an invitation to slow down, to feel what we couldn’t feel at the time, or to honor what was lost in a new way. These moments aren’t setbacks. They’re openings.
Grief as a Soul Process
In depth psychotherapy, we often look at grief through a symbolic lens.
Loss can feel like a descent—into the underworld, into shadow, into mystery. The myth of Persephone is one way of understanding this: a young woman taken underground, her mother searching the earth in sorrow, the seasons halting until she returns. It reminds us that grief changes everything. It alters the world as we know it. And it changes us, too.
But there is wisdom in that descent. There’s meaning to be found in the dark. Many of us emerge from grief with a deeper relationship to our own soul—with more compassion, clarity, and truth.
How Depth Psychotherapy Supports Grief
Grief doesn’t need to be pathologized. It needs space. It needs presence. It needs to be witnessed.
In therapy, we explore grief not just as pain, but as a portal—into self-understanding, into the unconscious, and into the spiritual dimension of life. This might include:
• Dreamwork: Our dreams often carry messages from the parts of us still grieving. They can bring insight, comfort, or stir something unresolved.
• Symbolic and ritual practices: Lighting a candle, creating art, writing a letter to a lost loved one—these small acts can offer enormous healing. They help us stay connected to what was, and to what still lives in us.
• Inner dialogue and imagination: Sometimes grief carries us back to younger versions of ourselves. Sometimes it opens the door to unexpected longings. We can work with these parts in gentle, intuitive ways that create space for healing.
Living with Grief, Not in Battle with It
So many of us carry grief in silence. We feel like we should be “done” by now. But what if grief isn’t meant to be done? What if it’s something that continues to shape us—not as a wound, but as a deep well of love and meaning?
Grief, when tended with care, has the power to soften us into deeper wholeness. It teaches us what matters. It opens our hearts, even when they’ve been shattered.
If you’re carrying a grief that feels heavy, strange, or sacred—and you’re longing for a space to explore it in a deeper way—I’d be honored to work with you.
I offer grief counseling in Oakland and virtually throughout California. If you feel called to tend your grief with gentleness and curiosity, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
You don’t have to carry it alone. Contact me today to begin.